Odd Still Life

The kid is cute. The kid is hungry. The kid gets waffles. Gee! Wish I could do that.

I get up every day last week saying, “I’m starved. I wonder what there is in the house to eat?” Did I get waffles? No. Why? Because I’m not cute. (Or maybe because I’m not three and don’t talk like this ’Hung’y. Hung’y! Waffles!’)

Sounds like I’m jealous, doesn’t it? No way. I wouldn’t be three these days for all the tea in China. Sesame Street sucks. No Electric Company. They expect you to practically do advanced calculus.

I didn’t go to school until I was five. I was a happy child. Sesame Street and The Electric Company were the most incredible things. I learned my ABC’s and 123′s without some goofy pre-school teacher playing politically correct games with me. By the time I was actually in school I was really good at adding and spelling and things like that. I was fine socially, also, right up until cliques and teachers and classicism drained all the social out of me.

What the heck was my point? Ummm. Being cute gets you waffles.